You are five years old! Five! I can hardly believe it. I'll be honest with you, this has been an exceptionally hard one. Five means Kindergarten, time away from you, independence gained. So many good things that still pull on a Mommy's heartstrings. I don't know why I feel like it's snuck up on me. I mean, I knew eventually you would be five, but here I am shocked that it really happened. It's just that these past years have gone by so quickly. Some of it was a blur from too little sleep. Some of it was a blur from tears in my eyes of frustration. So much of it is crystal clear beauty of watching you grow. From a tiny baby to a big, helpful five year old, it's as if I've been watching little miracles everyday. There are so many memories that I treasure in my heart of being your Mommy and getting a front row seat of your life. This is why I scrapbook. So you can know some of these precious things about yourself, and so that you can always look and see and read about how loved you are, have always been. So that you can see how the Lord has grown you and shaped you over your lifetime. It's just too good of a story for me to keep to myself!
I have literally cried and cried about this birthday. If I had these past five years to do over again the only thing that I would change is that I would look around a little more, soak it all in a little more. Slowly, though, it has dawned on me that though you were once connected to me, every moment since the moment you were born had been little steps at you growing away from me and into who the Lord created you to be - your own amazing person living out the plans He has set out for you alone. I have been comforted by the mental image of you slowly leaving my arms as you walk more and more confidently and independently into His. And if this is the case, I'm in! My deepest desire is for you to know Him. I see just that coming. You love to talk about the Lord, His word, and what it means. You ask the best questions. I know that there are things about Him that you already get. You demonstrate for me everyday what it means to have childlike faith.
My prayer for you this next year is that you will flourish in your first steps out into the world on your own, but that you will always know that Mommy and Daddy are right here to love you and help you. That you will continue to love and absorb the word of God, making it your own, seeing what the Lord is speaking to you through it. My prayer for me is that I would be intentionally seeking out God's wisdom and discernment in cultivating the gifts He has given you, that I would love you in a way that gives you the confidence and freedom to grow into the person you were created to be.
I love you so much, Maelie Sarah! I am more proud of you than I could put into words. You are an amazing person - so beautiful and smart, so deep and precious. Nothing you can ever do will change the fact that you Mommy and your Heavenly Father are crazy about you.
Love you sweet girl,